Written on March 10, 2018 by the Mediterranean Sea in Netanya, Israel

Breathe in

Breathe out

Your sound today tells me your waves are agitated.  Indeed, even you do not have all the power to do as you will.  You must obey tides, timetables, and a moon so many miles away.  For they are stronger than your will.

What do you do when you want to fight back?  When you want to insist on your way?  Does the deep deep blue of your waves today mean you are angry?  But, even if you are angry, I still follow asleep easily by your side.

I cannot always do as I wish.  And even you, oh mighty sea, cannot do only as you wish.

Breathe in

Breathe out

Namaste

Written on March 7, 2018, by the Mediterranean Sea in Netanya, Israel.

Breathe in

Breathe out

We are like a bottle thrown into the sea.  Pushed down by the wind.  Tossed around and around and around until we are dizzy and disoriented.  We bob back up, and are pushed under again and again and again.

We sink down and down to the bottom of the sea, and join the shipwrecks strewn around.

We flop onto a deserted beach for awhile and inspected and rejected by a hermit crab looking for a new house.  Then pulled out to sea again to continue an endless journey to nowhere in particular.

Breathe in

Breathe out

Namaste

Written overlooking the Mediterranean Sea in Netanya, Israel on March 6, 2018

Breathe in

Breathe out

It is a partly blue, partly cloudy, partly gray, partly sunny day looking over the Mediterranean Sea.

It has taken me a few days to get back here again, but the missing of the Mediterranean Sea pulled me unrelentingly to it.  I can hear it calling to me.

I am beginning to feel the coming of my leaving on March 27.  And I guess in most ways I’m ready to go home to the ocean on the other side of the world.  But … but … but my special spot by the sea I can walk to in truly 10 minutes; the knowing that is probably never going to happen again — ah, it tugs at me so hard.

Not that I wouldn’t be ready to die today, here in my Jewish homeland by the sea within the whimsical ceramic creature by the sea that lets me feel so cozily curled within it.  It has been worth all the trouble, all the planning, all the money, it took to unite us.

And yes, I’ll miss the Ethiopians, the school where I tutor, the concentration of my students who want to be tutored — but, after I’m gone, I’ll only be a fleeting memory amongst them.

I guess it’s clear there’s really no future for me to live in Israel now without more money than I have.  My time in Israel hasn’t given me a new direction at my age and financial situation.  If I were younger…if I were richer — would it matter?  I see around me a variety of personal plights that money can’t fix.

The sky in front of me has god-like sunlit rays breaking through it that add grayish shadows on pathways to the sky — to space — to infinity.

In some ways, I do have as many choices of paths to take.  I am not so old, not yet penniless, not all that unhealthy to make choices for myself.

The big, dark gray blob in the sky is trying to gobble up the heat of the sun.  The birds see it too, and are talking to each other about the picture in the sky.

The things that are going right on this 3 month jaunt are going very right.  What didn’t go right – the billing mix-up with Airbnb – was very unpleasant, but didn’t actually end up costing me more money.

How am I different going back to my Laguna Woods Village near Laguna Beach after my happy hours by Lagoon Beach on the Mediterranean side of the world?

I don’t think I can answer this now.  Perhaps it will eventually be clearer.  My time here isn’t up yet, and neither is my time to curl inside the ceramic dragon’s tail — thankfully.  No goodbyes are necessary quite yet.

Breathe in

Breathe out

Namaste

 

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