Written next to the Mediterranean Sea in Netanya, Israel, on 2/27/18.

 

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Ah, the Mediterranean is riled up today.  The sun is shining, the waves are roiling, and I breathe in through the sounds it breathes into me.  Then, I breathe it out back into the world.

I come here for peace.  I come here for beauty.  I come here for inspiration.  I come here for hope.  I come here for wisdom.  I come here to figure out the rest of my life.

I only have 27 days left to sit by my Mediterranean guru.  And then I go back to another home that is close to, but not so very close to, another sea.  It is here, by my Mediterranean guru, that I hope to bring back wisdom and peace to direct me forward.

Options, options.  Good options.  Good sounding options.  Smart options.  Bad decision options.  They are all still possible.  At 74, I still have some relative youth, relative smarts, relative eyesight, relative wealth, left for what’s left of my however many years before I die.

I haven’t had the “aha” moment for my future yet.  But I know I will continue to have old age physical and mental challenges to face.  With the wisdom of my Mediterranean guru, I will hopefully not crumble, or lose interest or energy in fighting on for my mental and physical health.

But I don’t like the words, “fighting on.”  I prefer to learn how to live with any lack of health, lack of wealth, lack of energy, and these myriad stupid ways I keep injuring myself.  In fact, it’s mental control I seek.  Worry and fear are easy to come by and hard to get rid of.  I hope you can help me banish worry and fear from my mind.  They are the killers that destroy the good that coexists with the bad in life.  What can the sea teach me about the rhythm of life and death?  About how to keep going?

I wonder what my life would have been like had I stayed in Israel for the rest of my life instead of leaving after 6 years.  I would have been able to keep my rights to a little room in a building for immigrants that cost only a small pittance every month.  It would have given me a moderate financial security for my lifetime, including old age.  It was a lot to give up, and it made me once again a newcomer to today’s Israel.

What was possible then is impossible for me now in modern Israel with its strong economy and prices higher than southern California.  I do not regret the paths I chose in my life, but financial security wasn’t something I thought much about until recent times.

Dear Mediterranean guru, can I learn from you how to see the micro better than the macro around me?

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Namaste

 

 

 

%d bloggers like this: